Devotions for Disciples

I have attempted to sort through a mountain of emotions as a child of the King. We all remember as small children how we would run to our parents with a scraped knee, crying in pain, but all was made well with a band-aid and a kiss. Unfortunately, the pain of life can go well beyond the band-aid and a kiss. We have experienced that firsthand when the Mighty Hand of God answered our prayers when all the medical professionals had little hope or encouragement. Our journey with Ashley, Jon, and Lucy drove us to places in this life we had no idea existed. The outcome was one of abundant joy and rejoicing, the kind we had never experienced, but we often return to the Father and praise Him and thank Him for the life He gave us.

The journey on which we walked with Jennifer, Rob, Hayes, and Raquel was one of disappointment and heartache. Many prayers prayed for a joyous expansion of our family were not answered in the way that they were asked. The emotions still creep into our hearts and cause our heads to fall into the Father’s lap and weep over the hurt. Yet, we see a family whose faith was challenged, and the refining fires that were applied had a far greater purpose than we could have ever imagined. 

Prayers prayed do not always end in the results our heart desires; they always end with a loving Father knowing what we each need the most and what is the absolute best for us. While the answers that come are not always what we want, they are always for our good and His glory. No one runs to the Father to beg for refining fires. Fires come at the most unexpected time, and until the process is completed and we can find the right perspective, they are not appreciated. Life is a journey with many lessons. We prayed for a joyous outcome to happen with the adoption process, just as we prayed for Lucy’s healing, yet the outcomes were different. Why? The question has no sufficient answer, but the Father beckons our hearts to stay persistent in the journey and to guard our hearts no matter the outcome.

When we receive news that we do not expect, it can shake our hearts and cause our souls to tremble. “Why?” seems to scream from the depths of our souls, and yet the screams go unanswered. But the results of the process God is taking us through will be felt deep in our hearts for a lifetime. The refining fires will have an effect and will accomplish  what the Father intended.

Persistence (Luke 18:1-8) is as great a statement of faith as answered prayers. Persistence says, “No matter how many times I have knocked on this door, I will keep knocking!” I will continue to ask for the evidence of His power to sustain; I will continue to knock and ask that my faith be renewed daily and that I will accept the new mercies that are sufficient for my walk. 

Disappointments happen, but the power of disappointment grows only when it is allowed a place to live in our core being. That’s when it zaps our persistence and takes away our faith. That’s why it is the greatest, yet most often repeated, mistake we can make because in the face of disappointment, we allow it to dictate our next action — or lack of action. You see, the reality is that if we are ever to allow ourselves to hope for anything, we have to allow ourselves the potential pain of disappointment.

People suffering from emotional and physical health issues would often rather run a million miles than suffer any more pain. It’s understandable, but this attitude can lead us to a place where, in our hope to avoid more disappointment, we invite the disappointment to become a permanent resident. When we do, disappointment is no longer a momentary experience but a long-term shade of gray, and doubt digs in to shade our hearts from hope, telling us that there is no hope and no joy and that living an abundant life is a pipe dream. Faith and hope are only restored when we cling to God day in and day out – in spite of the pain. In spite of the disappointment. Knowing that the outcome might not be any different today or tomorrow, we have to believe that our hope in God is healing in itself. It is far better to hope and be disappointed than to live in disappointment and lose all hope. I choose to live in the persistent and abiding love of the Father.

Knowing this refining time is for a purpose beyond my vision and understanding, I will make my choice to believe; I will believe God loves me more than I could possibly comprehend. 

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26).

“Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand” (Psalm 73:23).

Isaiah 49:23 says, “Those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” My prayer for today and all the tomorrows that lay ahead is that I would persist in hope and find that disappointment has moved out of its lodging place in my heart that it longs to call home. Just as Job knew, I know that my Redeemer lives. And as the Psalmist says over and over again, He is always present — in joy and in disappointment. This journey, like others, is a refining time with a purpose. So, “I will make my request known because I know I still belong to you; you hold my right hand” (Psalm 73:23). And while we wait for answers, I will thank my Jesus, the ultimate Healer Who pursues His child with persistent passion and love.